Why I Opt-Out of Social Media
I want to start out by saying that this piece and my perspective are by no means meant to be shared as “the way” of being and doing. I continuously practice grounding myself in the I statement and I’m doing my best to share my experience. Perhaps you align directly, or perhaps you’re on the other side of the spectrum because that works for you over there. If anything, maybe this is just a seed that plants a bit of reflection and critical thinking. I’m just a deeply feeling person sharing some feelings around a topic. As I always used to say when teaching a movement class, there is no right or wrong way to do this. It’s an invitation to notice what comes up and move through to what feels good.
I personally opt out of social media. Even as a creative brand strategist who understands the importance and relevancy of social media when it comes to small business ownership and being a solopreneur, still for me, it’s a boundary that I’ve had to set. Let us remember that situations (and life in general) are nuanced.
I think about it like this… Some people can drink in moderation and be fine. Alcoholics cannot consume alcohol. While I don’t identify as an alcoholic, I haven’t drank since 2018 because I began to notice how it made me feel and I got really curious about why I was reaching for a drink and what that was trying to solve for me.
My relationship with social media is somewhat similar. I can’t social media in moderation. Before I know it, I’ve spent 47 minutes with my head down on my phone scrolling through things that I have no idea why or how I’ve gotten there in the first place. I go very quickly into Comparison Land, Not Enough World, and Heartbreak City.
When I finally do remove myself from the scroll, I feel depleted and most of the time, holding on to the edge of a shame spiral.
Now let’s talk about this in a larger, cultural context. Time spent on the app is the goal. There are people in high leadership positions in the tech world that are making a boatload of money off of our attention. And when you put that through the lens of small business ownership, most of us in this field are not making loads of money off of our social media content. Yes, content creators and influencers are, and that is a legitimate career these days. However, for the majority of us who are putting time, effort, energy, and valuable skills into creating content, we are sharing that for free.
Yes, the strategy (and the hope) is that new leads and new business are generated from social media content and profile presence. However as mentioned above with time on and in the app being the goal, and as the platforms themselves control what content is prioritized based on algorithm behaviors, that doesn’t always work to a small independent business owner’s benefit.
In the end, I feel like I’m left with creating copious amounts of valuable content for free with no real guarantee that I’m actually going to be seen and make worthwhile connections.
As my friend and wonderful colleague, Raudhah Rahman said recently…
"You don't need to struggle to prove that you exist. I've heard from so many people how social media is really tiring them out, and it does so insidiously. You most definitely are not imagining it. The medium in itself is designed to trick us into falsely correlating our existence with vanity metrics. So consider, how your practice can disrupt that pattern."
My disruptive practice is non-participation. That’s an extreme stance, I know. And maybe not fully sustainable. It also means I have to work in other ways to foster connection and dial in my creative efforts. While that is still an expense of my time and energy, for me it feels more aligned and less draining.
And because transparency is important, I will say that I do sign on to Instagram and Facebook from my laptop a few times a week. I’m not completely removed as I do want to stay somewhat informed on trends, practices, and the few good things that live on those platforms. And most recently, I’ve been gently wading into Pinterest because I’ve got some home project hopes. More thoughts on this experience soon. But I do not have the TikTok and I have no plans to venture down that rabbit hole.
One of my favorite lines in Frozen II (Toddlerland is where most of my time is spent these days) is when Anna asks Olaf to remind her of that thing he said from their journey to The Enchanted Forest. He rattles off a few humorous statements including “My theory about advancing technology as both our savior and our doom?”
That is where I land again and again. This thing that is now the cornerstone of our lives, both social media and the use of advanced technology in general, hold two very opposing things to be true. And I really don’t know where the elusive middle ground lies.
For me, it looks like not regularly or fully participating in social media, while still embracing technology throughout my day.
I have instant, immediate, and full-range access to information, and there are no real filters on all of that overwhelming input.
Connection and visibility to people and opinions we normally wouldn’t have access to are available at our fingertips, while statistics show we are more isolated and alone once the screen turns off.
The majority is creating beautiful and informative content, while a small minority benefits and profits off of that labor with little to no accountability for the fallout we all eventually feel.
This brings me back to the beginning. Let us remember that situations (and life in general) are nuanced.
Is there a right answer? Not really. What works for me might not work for you and visa versa. The invitations I often accept for myself and pass on to you are… Be curious. Put something down and notice how it feels. What’s it like to pick that something back up? Keep examining.
Our time, energy, and attention hold billions of dollars worth of value. Let it be intentional.